I sold rest of my shorts and puts early yesterday morning, hoping the market would at least correct a little to get better exit price. After I sold them all, my heart was sinking to new low. I didn't feel free, I felt numbness and crashing defeat! I checked all my accounts' balance, this only enhanced the "new low" feeling, I just wanted to do something drastically. One reader added great comments in the previous post to share the thoughts and experience.
For me, the purpose of spending time and energy to research to be a trader is not to meet mutual fund performance or index performance, I can do that by using just a few ETFs with very low costs.
I want to beat the market and get better results. So yes, I'm far behind the market this year, but I learned a lot. I'll stick to trading and continue to change until I find one or two ways to outperform. Meanwhile, it's not a bad idea to set a portion of total funds in the index ETFs, like SPY,EWA, EWC and EEM, to name a few.
Don't doubt myself, no matter how many stupid mistakes I made in life.
I can't change the fact I made stupid mistakes, so I have to change my attitude towards these failures.
When tiger is in cage, he bows his head and waves his tail, begging for food! Pigs and rabbits are laughing at him and run happily around the cage. But my friends, a tiger is no pig nor rabbit, he can do far better thing in life.
So don't feel bad to be trapped in a very bad situation.
Jesse Livermore made a killing in 1907 and was a millionaire. Then he was broke, and actually, in debt.
Jesse Livermore waited a few years to make a come back. In 1915, he was only loaned to trade 500 shares of stocks, and he waited six weeks before he made a great trade, he knew it's his last trade if he failed. He made a great trade and never looked back. He made over 100 millions later.
I can't possibly compare myself to Jesse Livermore, I'm not there yet. I had my bright spots in trading, some due to luck and not skill, to be sure.
But I have a dream!
I'm not in debt, I still have a decent job and I have money to trade. I'm in far better position than Jesse Livermore in early 1915.
I can walk away, just invest in SPY and a few international ETFs and not worry about them any more. But I won't do that.
I know there is far better thing in trading.
I know there is far better thing in life.
I experienced countless turns and tribulations, by making lot of money and then giving them right back in 2006 and 2007, I owe it to myself to not give up!
I wished I could just sit on the market index ETFs after I made some money in early 2007, but I didn't. So don't regret things you did.
Lot of investors don't know the swing of option price between a small daily movement of the underlined stock; lot of investors don't know by just waiting a few more days, even with underlined stock price moving in your direction, the option price can go much lower; on the other hand, the option can go higher even with stock price moving to the wrong direction; all depends on the volatility and time premium. I experienced these, sometimes feel I was cheated by large operators in the market, but at least I know these.
These experience is worth nothing if I quit now. But it's a treasure for a trader, assume I learned from it.
If nothing else, I experienced new low in trading and life, I experienced glory and failure in trading and life.
I may wait a few more days, a few more weeks and even a few more months, to find a better setup to enter the market again.
Once you're successful, you can laugh at all these failures and tragedies; but if you fail again and again, then just chew the bitter taste of failure and your own stupidity.
Don't blame luck, don't blame manipulation, you make your own luck. You calculate all the risks, including unfairness for small traders in the market place.
Pick yourself up, like a man!
Don't cry foul, don't complain.
Don't think you find the magic of trading due to one or two successful trades, you always need to count the unknown, respect the obvious.
Because it's difficult to trade to make a living, because it's tough to trade, market is less crowded, so that you have your chance to be a successful trader. If it's easy, everyone can do it, you may not find your chance in the market.
So lucky me, I get my chance.
Now, use this chance well.